Witnessed
Today I found myself in one of those situations where it seemed that a likely result would be me giving a statement to the police. I was in a 7-11 to pick up some chocolate-covered pretzels. Some rowdy youths were also in the store, being loud but not doing anything wrong as far as I could tell. The short, ponytailed manager started yelling at the youths and it got ugly. A rough transcript from memory:
Manager: You not buying anything? You going to buy anything?
Youth #1: We waitin’ for [inaudible] —
Manager: Get out of my store if you not going to buy anything!
Youth #2: Calm the fuck down, man.
Manager: You fuck off right now! Get the fuck out of my store!
Youths, in chorus: [Hysterical laughter]
At this point they left without a fuss. But the lesson of their response was clear. Nothing is funnier than ineffectual menace.
